That phonecall

Why is it that women make excuses for men when they don’t call? Perhaps he’s got lot of work and he is in meetings all day. Perhaps he forgot we said Thursday? Perhaps he was hit by a bus on his way to work (ignoring the fact that his work is only a couple of blocks away and there are no buses in those streets). Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps like the old song….But experience has taught me otherwise. If a man cares to be with you again, he’ll call from anywhere. From the middle of a meeting, fr

om under a bus, from the football stadium. And so, as it is Thursday early evening and he hasn’t called, I presume the reasons were other that hold him back. This is where insecurity kicks in and it gets interesting. It’s my bum, it’s too big. Or it’s the vibes I sent out. I sent out negative vibes without realizing it. Or maybe I sounded too sweet on the phone the other day and he got scared. Or too eager. Or both. Oh fuck, back to this old game again, and I don’t even know whether I wanna be playing it. All the beginning agony bit, that I could just do without. Can’t we just skip all that and jump to the happy-ever-after part, from now? But then, life will not be the same, without that first excitement, the pure agony of the first dates, the discovery of one another, the will-he-call questionmarks hanging over your head all day, that first kiss…. The pure joy of falling in love, the bone-braking agony and ecstasy of it all….It’s terrifying and yet inviting like chocolate fudge, can’t get enough of it. 

But back to tonight. What kind of man says let’s go out on Thursday I’ll call you to arrange and then disappears? Well, not a trustworthy one, that’s for sure. And since I’m a strong believer that trust is the basis of any relationship, this one ended before it begun. Besides, I’m so busy these days with new projects, I couldn’t fit love into my life, even If I wanted to. Is just, that I feel disappointed that’s all. The old-fashioned me thinks that this behavior doesn’t befit the tall handsome wild-ocean-eye stranger, who seemed to be a true gentleman, opening the doors and all….So, maybe I’m a bit perplexed here, but no matter how many excuses I (still) make in my head for him, the stark reality is that he didn’t contact and that to me means that he probably had second thoughts about the whole thing and about me. For reasons that I’ll probably never find out. Perhaps he is thinking that once in a relationship he’ll lose his freedom, like most men do. That he'll miss the lectures that he loves going to, his cooking classes, his mates. He couldn’t be more wrong though, if that’s the case. Besides the fact that I’m involved in various new projects at the moment and I’m called to be creative, enthusiastic, driven and determined the whole time, I wouldn’t want to change anyone’s life and adjust it to my own. On the contrary.

It’s funny what us women do to men though. When we meet them at first we like them EXACTLY because they are so independent, with many hobbies, active in sports, with mates, a social life, a life. Then when we get together all this is new and exciting and fun. And then, as we slowly go back to the way we were, we draw the men with us. On the couch with a beer, a pizza and a rented DVD. And since the excitement is gone, sexuality falls to below zero levels. And so does the love, eventually. I mean I’ve seen it happen so many times to my friends and to me. And I’ve learned. Oh boy have I learned. So in my next relationship I’m determined to keep my individuality, my social life, my interests and my friends alive and I so wish for my partner, whoever that might be. I don’t want to ‘possess’ anyone in that sense, and I don’t need the full time company, either. The time that I spent with myself, even when I just do the dishes, is invaluable. Always a revelation. I observe my thoughts more closely now, I listen to me more. I allow time to feel me more. 

Tomorrow I’m off to a meditation and fasting weekend in silence, like a mini vipasana sort-of-thing, and to be honest, I can’t wait. I can’t wait for the noise inside my head to stop, longing for that stillness, that quiet place in the back of your mind, that calm space that you retrieve to where you feel peaceful and quiet. My hopes and aspirations for this weekend are that I will find that calm place and spend as much time there as I can. I’m not afraid facing whatever comes up to the surface, in fact, I want to. Peaceful warrior in training, I’m ready for some serious action! So, if my shadows want to emerge and pay me a visit, I’ll be ready. That’s the spirit! And as for that phonecall, yes, I admit I m a bit upset (though for some reason I didn't wanna go out tonight ) but on the other hand I’m comforting myself with the thought that if he is hesitant and hasn't recognized what a gem I am(!), then he is not for me. I’m not interested in men unsure of them selves and their feelings. I’ve met one too many. And the only reason I’ve stayed was because I could always see the potentiality in them, the greatness, the semi-gods they could become. Instead of looking at the mere reality of human nature and how difficult it is at the end to teach an old dog new tricks. But life is full of surprises and tomorrow is a brand new day! And remember, always, that sunshine follows rain, as night follows day...

With mucho amor,

Tabitha
P.S. He did call at the end, he was just busy at the office. As for what I said, I wont take it back now, there are still some good points here - except that they may not apply in this case anymore...

Seven Rules for the Rewarding Life - by Robin Sharma

A rewarding life is a simple creation, made up of daily acts of excellence, contribution and self-leadership. All too often, we believe that a great life requires us to do something heroic and involves a grand gesture that makes us stand out from the crowd.

However, this is not the case.

Instead, a richly rewarding life occurs when we commit ourselves to being excellent on a daily basis and committing small, consistent acts of 'minor greatness' which over the course of a lifetime amount to something very grand and significant. In my work as an author and a leadership thinker, I have the opportunity to show people how to live their best lives and create a lasting legacy in the process. What follows are seven rules that will help you lift your life to its next level.

Rule 1 - PUT PEOPLE OVER POSSESSIONS

All of the wisdom literature essentially says the same thing: A rewarding life is defined by the quality of your relationships. At the end of your life when you are on your deathbed, you will not ask the nurse to wheel in your new car nor will you ask the orderly to cart in the money that rests in your bank account. Instead, you will ask that those you love be near you in your final moments and reflect on your memories you have all enjoyed.

If this fact will be important to you then, it should be important to you now. I have found in my own life that I am at my best when my relationships are strong and I am nurturing each and every one of them. If you are finding that you lack fulfillment in your life, dedicate yourself to giving more to your personal and professional relationships and you will be pleasantly surprised at the results.

...the rest to be continued...

(by Robin Sharma)

60 TIPS FOR A STUNNINGLY GREAT LIFE by Robin Sharma

I want to shift gears from leadership to a pure focus on crafting an exceptional life for this blog post. Ultimately, life goes by in a blink. And too many people live the same year 80 times. To avoid getting to the end and feeling flooded regret over a live half-lived, read (and then apply) these tips:

1. Exercise daily.

2. Get serious about gratitude.

3. See your work as a craft.

4. Expect the best and prepare for the worst.

5. Keep a journal.

6. Read “The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin”.

7. Plan a schedule for your week.

8. Know the 5 highest priorities of your life.

9. Say no to distractions.

10. Drink a lot of water.

11. Improve your work every single day.

12. Get a mentor.

13. Hire a coach.

14. Get up at 5 am each day.

15. Eat less food.

16. Find more heroes.

17. Be a hero to someone.

18. Smile at strangers.

19. Be the most ethical person you know.

20. Don’t settle for anything less than excellence.

21. Savor life’s simplest pleasures.

22. Save 10% of your income each month.

23. Spend time at art galleries.

24. Walk in the woods.

25. Write thank you letters to those who’ve helped you.

26. Forgive those who’ve wronged you.

27. Remember that leadership is about influence and impact, not title and accolades.

28. Create unforgettable moments with those you love.

29. Have 5 great friends.

30. Become stunningly polite.

31. Unplug your TV.

32. Sell your TV.

33. Read daily.

34. Avoid the news.

35. Be content with what you have.

36. Pursue your dreams.

37. Be authentic.

38. Be passionate.

39. Say sorry when you know you should.

40. Never miss a moment to celebrate another.

41. Have a vision for your life.

42. Know your strengths.

43. Focus your mind on the good versus the lack.

44. Be patient.

45. Don’t give up.

46. Clean up your messes.

47. Use impeccable words.

48. Travel more.

49. Read “As You Think”.

50. Honor your parents.

51. Tip taxi drivers well.

52. Be a great teammate.

53. Give no energy to critics.

54. Spend time in the mountains.

55. Know your top 5 values.

56. Shift from being busy to achieving results.

57. Innovate and iterate.

58. Speak less. Listen more.

59. Be the best person you know.

60. Make your life matter.

20 tips to being happy by Dr Tim Sharp

This article is based on the following philosophy:
Happiness is the ultimate purpose in life
Happiness is achievable, for all of us
Happiness is determined more by our minds than by our circumstances

The disciplines that will lead to and enhance happiness (such as helpful thinking and good habits) can be learned and mastered, with practice.

Tip 1 - Make happiness a priority. If happiness is not at the top of your list then other things will take precedence. If other things take precedence, they may well interfere with your efforts to feel good.

Tip 2 - Make plans to be happy. Those who fail to plan, plan to fail. Just like in any other life domain, the successful pursuit of happiness requires planning.

Tip 3 - Set happy goals. Following on from Tip 2, planning requires effective goal setting. And don’t forget to make sure your goals are SMART (specific, measurable, achievable, relevant and timed).

Tip 4 - Do things that make you happy. Although this sounds obvious, many people simple forget to do things from which they gain pleasure. And do them as
often as possible.

Tip 5 - Set yourself tasks from which you’ll gain satisfaction. As well as pleasure and enjoyment, satisfaction is also an important part of happiness. So make sure that when you’re planning your tasks and activities you include things that might not be fun, but from which you’ll gain a sense of achievement.

Tip 6 - Play and have fun. Don’t take life too seriously. Although we all have responsibilities there’s no reason why we can’t approach much of our lives in a playful manner. In fact, those who do so will undoubtedly be happier.

Tip 7 - Identify where your strengths lie. Know where your faults and weaknesses are to avoid problems. Know where your strengths lie to be really happy and to succeed in life.

Tip 8 - Utilise your strengths. Although we all can and should endeavour to improve in areas in which we’re weak there’s just as much, if not more, to be gained from focusing on the maximal utilisation of your strengths (including all your positive qualities and attributes).

Tip 9 - Be curious. Constantly search for new ways to be happy. Keep a look out for new ways to approach life and to have fun.

Tip 10 - Be grateful and appreciate what you have. We all have many choices in life one of which is whether to focus on all the things we don’t have (of which there might be many), or to focus on all the things we do have. There’s no doubt, that gratitude and appreciation will significantly increase your chances of experiencing happiness.

Tip 11 - Learn to like and ideally to love yourself. We must love before we can be loved. To love others and to be loved by others is a key component of happiness.

Tip 12 - Invest time and energy in to your key relationships. Happy people spend more time working on and in their relationships. Happy people tend to be more supportive of other people in their life. Happy people are more generous and altruistic.

Tip 13 - Socialise and interact with others as much as possible. Happy people have both more and better quality relationships. So as well as working to improve the quality of your relationships (as noted in Tip 12) it’s also worthwhile working to improve the number of your relationships.

Tip 14 -Weed out unhelpful thoughts. The Dalai Lama has been quoted saying that “The central method for achieving a happier life is to train your mind in a daily practice that weakens negative attitudes and strengthens positive ones.” Learn first to identify your thoughts and then begin to challenge those that are negative and unhelpful.

Tip 15 - Plant happier, optimistic thoughts. As noted in Tip 14, there are two parts to developing helpful, optimistic thinking. The first is to weed out unhelpful negative thoughts and the second is to plant more positive, optimistic ones. This is essentially a skill, and like any other skill becomes easier and more effective with practice.

Tip 16 -Live a healthy life. Eat well and keep active. Exercise regularly. Although not impossible, it’s difficult to be happy if you’re constantly sick and not very healthy.

Tip 17 -Ensure you gain adequate sleep and rest. Consistent with Tip 16, it’s difficult to be happy if you’re constantly tired and struggling to find enough energy to get through the day. To assist with this, regularly practice relaxation and/or meditation strategies.

Tip 18 -Manage your time and priorities. Happy people tend to believe they’re more in control of their lives. In doing so, they’re more likely to take an active approach to solving problems. If something’s not quite right in your life, do something. And further, make sure that what you’re doing is important. Put first things first.

Tip 19 -Control what you can control. Accept what you can’t control. And learn to be wise enough to know the difference.

Tip 20 - Live in the present moment. The author, Henry Miller once said “Every moment is a golden one for him who has the vision to recognise it as such.” The only moment in which we can truly be happy is the present moment. The only moment over which we have control is the present moment. So be happy now! Because if not now, then when?

Tip 21 – an EXTRA tip to make you happy!

Make happiness an integral part of your life. Develop happiness routines and make them a part of your every day living. Remind yourself however you can to do what you need to do and reward yourself as often as possible for doing what you’ve done.

Dr. Sharp is one of Australia’s leaders in the exciting new science of positive psychology and happiness. In short, he is one of this country’s leading Executive Coaches, a highly qualified consultant on matters relating to human behaviour and psychology (particularly the application of positive psychology principles within organisations and teams) and a sought after public/corporate speaker. For more information please email info@thehappinessinstitute or visit The Happiness Institute

Spring is in the air

Dunno whether it’s the sunny weather or the alignment of my planets but this spring came with an avalanche that seems to uplift my soul. Like a good friend said today ‘winter is cooling the air and turning the mood of the seasons’ and I couldn’t agree more. The hybernation period is over and so is my mourning for relationships that didn’t last. I have come to accept that we had served each other on our paths for that particular period of time and it’s now time to move on. This year, with spring came change and change is a wonderful thing. I’ve been wanting it, praying to the universe for it and now it comes in waves. First with jobs. Then with friends. Then with special friends. Then with choices. As I reflect on the winter just passed, the chills (internal more than external) and the struggle to get out of it and back into the light, I can’t help but thinking that perhaps the relationships are nothing but reflections sourced from where we happen to be in our path. I have come to believe that all my relationships were soulmates that taught me different lessons and instead of punishing myself with the woulda’s shoulda’s and coulda’s over and over again, I should be kinder to me as I stumble, grow and learn while I figure it all out. I certainly know that my last two were the most confronting spiritual classrooms and I have come out of them as a true warrior in a good relationship with myself – finally! For now, I just wanna be where it feels good, where it feels warm and loving, inspiring and honest and make the most of all these delicious moments I experience lately, for as long as they last!

Con mucho amor,

Tabitha 

15 Ways For You To Do Your Best Work by Robin Sharma

Do your best work by challenging the way you did things yesterday.
Do your best work by allowing your passion to see the light of day.
Do your best work by becoming part of the solution versus growing the problem.
Do your best work by expecting nothing less than you playing at world-class.
Do your best work by giving away the credit (especially when you crave it)
Do your best work by practicing your skills so you become a virtuoso.
Do your best work by releasing excuses and doing important things.
Do your best work by getting up when you’ve been knocked down.
Do your best work by keeping your promises; to others and to yourself.
Do your best work by showing integrity.
Do your best work by delivering more value than anyone could ever expect from you.
Do your best work by making time to refill your well.
Do your best work by having a strong foundation at home.
Do your best work by becoming as fit as a pro athlete.
Do your best work by doing work that makes a difference and inspires others to do the same.

As Chuck Palahniuk once said: “The goal isn’t to live forever. The goal is to create something that will.”

Eagle's eye

Back to the question of where do I stand in life. Am I the director of my movie yet or still just an extra? I’ve been reading a book or two about our inner world and how, whatever we perceive as the outside world, is our own manifestation and I’m wondering-still- how can then my reality be so ….poor? If we are to project on the outside and create our environment and our lives according to our inner psyche, then that’s not working for me or I’m doing something wrong. I feel nothing but love and abundance yet, I’ve got neither of the two in my real life. What am I doing wrong? People point out to me lately that I’m not in the right track, that I’ve made the wrong decisions, that I’m poor, that I have no family, no husband, no money, no job, nothing that matters…..Nothing that matters to whom is a good question. Cause inside of me, I’ve never felt richer, more content, and happier, than most of the time now, though I still have my worries about all the above. I look at life from a slightly different angle now….It’s like photography when you approach your subject from different angles to capture exactly what you want, something like that…it’s easier said than done, and its easier when there are no emotions attached. I’m not trying to beautify my situation here, I know I’m in the shits and I’m working towards correcting it all, that’s not the point. The point is that even if I do get the best job in the world now, even if my soulmate shows up and we spend the rest of our years together, and I win the lottery and all that, I’ll be happy, sure, but I am happy now. Right now, where I’m seating at my friend’s starkly furnished half-derelict-house, drinking my tea, with ten euros in my pocket to last me a week, I’m happy. My heart is open and I’m full of love for all….and the ones that hurt me I think I love the most. My dad. My ex. My girlfriend. My ex boss. If it wasn’t for them I wouldn’t be where I am now. I feel balanced and in peace inside, the turmoil of forty years of uneasiness and self-pity seems to have evaporized towards the horizons and I’m left with a sense of …..being. Just that. And I’m learning to accept me everyday, and to love me more, and to forgive me more. I’m learning to give me credit for the good deeds daily and to stop judging me so severely and constantly. I’m learning to have a dialogue with my shadows and not let them take over. I observe them more and more closely now. But as I live in this urban environment where achievement is everything and I’ve got nothing to show for it, sometimes I do feel bad, I feel embarrassed, worthless, a failure and that all my life’s choices were wrong. Oh, why didn’t I do an MBA and what if I had taken that job and what if I had lived abroad? Well, there is no way of knowing now, for none of us, and the ‘what if’s don’t take us anywhere. The question is what do we do now so we can be on the right path, on the path where our values are aligned with our everyday living and we are in harmony all the time. So, I just ignore these thoughts and I remember to be grateful for another day in paradise, for another day that was granted to us in this world. “All we have to do is decide what to do with the time we were given” said Gandolf to lord Froddo. Which brings back the question of what it is that I want to do next in the next chapter of my life. I’m in between phases now and I want to challenge me more. I want to discover my limits and test my newly found me beyond the borders that I know so far. Externally and internally. I want to surpass my vices, find my inner strength and keep it at all times. Why is it so easy to fall back again and again to the same rathole called ‘nasty habits’? Smoking, drinking, what have you. Even small things like going to bed early, eating more greens, even negative thoughts are nasty habits that sometimes we can’t seem to get out from. And that’s when I practice to look at things from another perspective, as if I was an eagle. A friend once told me a very nice story which has resonated with me. Here it is: Tiger Woods once changed his coach and his new coach, after observing his game advised him to alter his grip by five millimeters. That slight change made him win many tournaments after that. So, that’s what I’m practicing. Changing my point of view by a bit, each time, so I can get a different story in my head about how I view a situation. I hope you are not lost in translation by now and that you get the drift. By practicing seeing the others and yourself from different perspectives your understanding grows and what comes next is that you FEEL more. You feel the others more and you feel yourself. I’m in the process of doing that now. I’m observing me. I don’t always like what I find, but what the heck, I’m far from perfect. Lot’s of shadows creeping up in the process. But once you identify your shadows (last week alone I’ve been a coward more than once), you can correct them, you can do something about them or you can let them linger and feel worse and worse. You have a clear choice. The fast route to happiness or the dark alleys to nothingness. But enough on that.

Sometimes I wonder, whereas at the end karma is something that has been bestowed on us, they way a cast is in Hindus, and there is nothing we can do about it no matter how much we try in this life. I once read somewhere that in this life I have to learn about domesticity and humbleness because in one of my previous lives I was too domineering and powerful. Is this why sometimes nothing seems to go right, or is it me doing it? Am I in the situation I’m in now because I simply have made the wrong choices or did I have to have this path anyway no matter what? One thing I know is that I certainly have picked the long and windy road to happiness. I had chances. Many. To do the right thing. To get married. Have a family. Have a good and steady job. All that. And I said no, many times over. No. Even without any level of consciousness at the time, my free spirited nature wouldn’t allow for compromise. Not once. And so now I face the consequences I suppose. But boy do I feel good.

On a final note, the other day at the biking trip, there was someone who stood out from the crowd. Tall and handsome, reserved and polite, a kind and gentle soul, caring yet proud. With a voice as soft as a summer’s breeze and with eyes like the crystal waters of the ocean, I caught myself thinking of him and that raised more questions, as if I didn’t have enough already. Do I want a relationship at this phase in my life? I mean I’ve got so much stuff to sort out, survival being first, what if I DID meet someone who had a strong impact on me, and who I really liked? What then? Do I wanna fall in love? Have my head in cloud nine and a silly smile printed on my face like a cartoon, listening to love songs and…feeling happy? It’s too much to bear. As I’ve met a few single men over the past few weeks observing them I can see clearly what’s lacking that women want and men don’t give. Masculinity. Initiative. Enthusiasm. Passion. Presence. Having spent the past year with a man that had them all, my antennas towards these traits are more sensitive than ever and unfortunately I don’t pick up any signal. Where are the men? The alpha males? The males who allow themselves to feel…who know what they want and they go after it. Who claim the woman they like with tenacity and fore. Who lead the way. Who are not afraid of doing rare things, they take you out on a date and they blow your mind away just by being present, all the time, with you. Nothing else in the world matters to them (or to you for that matter!). I call them alpha males. And yes I am in search of one. Am I an alpha female myself? Well…..in training, but getting there. I feel ready and mature for love but my broken heart is not quite there yet. It’s been five months since my separation and still it lingers on and on and on and my head is still stuck in the what ifs and the shoulda woulda coulda. More often than not lately, I do let go, but the pain of it all is still alive in me. I’m mourning still and though I would never go back to this guy, he left a mark exactly because, if nothing else, he was an alpha male and I was in a relationship equivalent to a landmine, on my toes all the time for the mine to explode. And eventually it did. Mid November it was. I’ve been picking up my pieces ever since. And it’s been bloody hard. At some point I thought that dating other men would help, but it made it even worse because I was comparing everyone with him, finding them guilty and executing them, and not in a nice way. So, I’ve stopped. The tall and handsome stranger with the wild ocean eyes is the first one that got me giggling like a school girl after a long time. You can tell if you like someone by how strangely awkward they make you feel for no reason….for a person who keeps her cool most of the time, I find that unusual and yet it happens every time I’m around this guy. Strange! Or maybe it’s not meant to be, hence the awkwardness. I don’t know. He is not interested anyway, I know he isn’t. It was nice thinking about the what if’s even just as light entertainment, though….It gave me hope again, that good men are out there, and I know that my soulmate is out there, somewhere, but I’m not in love-search-mode at the moment….I’m in this self-discovery trip that I want to get more into and that’s plenty for now. So, I have to remain in my center, find my strength and face the challenges as they come. And’ that’s all for now. Over and out.

Con mucho amor to all,


Tabitha
P.S. for those of you not familiar with David Deida’s work, look him up.

STILNESS Speaks

Don’t we all strive to be our best everyday ? Or is it just me? The truth is that I have forgotten what’s that like, lately. With the recession and the miserable atmosphere all around, with the sad stories of many skillful people unemployed, with the low morale surrounding us like a smog cloud, and with the cash-low, I haven’t felt like I could strive for excellence lately, I admit it. Everyday, I wake up, I say my lord’s prayer and hope that my beautiful and abundant inner self will appear in the outside world in the form of a super job, in the field that I wanna be in (humanitarian work, of course), with the super paycheck at the end of each month, with fabulously kind and co-operative colleagues, full of compassion for the days that I’ll be off work travelling somewhere to expand my horizons, and…..nothing happens! And I wonder why, after all the reading I’ve done, my continuous and on-going training in my spiritual path, my positive attitude, my love for all, and my open heart, haven’t somehow materialized by now in the outside in the form of all that I’ve mentioned above, oh, and including a fabulously kind and generous soul of a soulmate. And so, as I want to believe that I can achieve all that and more, I do (try to) strive for excellence every day. 

Inside of me I live in a world of abundance, generosity, kindness, compassion, forgiveness, shedding the light in all the dark areas that I discover, and I work on that purposely everyday, mostly through my yoga and meditation. So, back to the to-do-lists. What I’ve mentioned in my previous post and the basics of time management , are all very well if they are done with awareness and consciousness. I find that people who are good with time management, who are in order and on top of their game, most times seem to be the uptight types. And I’ve watched people like that transform when they moved to the country side, now they are much more laid-back and approachable. What I’m trying to say is that having enough time to do the things we enjoy doing, or even better, do nothing, for periods during the day, is also important. The to-do-list is pointless if the tasks in it are not done with awareness, and presence. Remember, we are not human-doings, we are human-beings. And the beings that we have left behind so long ago we forgot they are there, are waiting to be brought to the surface and guide us to our true norths, or in other words, to our true selves, to our higher selves, to the higher beings that we all are. That’s why it’s so important that we spent sometime alone with ourselves everyday, in order to find that connection, to come out to the light again, to feel nothing. To think nothing. STILLNESS. The Yin time of reflection. 

Sometimes, I can’t get to the point of the day where its pure joy and I do all the things I love because previously I haven’t done all the bits and bolts that need doing and then I spend all day feeling guilty and so there is no joy or achievement and the day goes wasted. What a shame. Here is where the time management is so important in nailing us well to the ground so we can deal with our 24 hours as impeccably as we can, being true to ourselves, allowing us some slack time, but always with the awareness of where that time goes. After all, all we have to do in our lives is decide where to give our time, as Gandolf said to Froddo in the Lord of the Rings. So, as I strive for the light and the love to manifest yet another day, I can’t help but wonder, if we all lived with the principles of the Buddha, dhamma and sangha what a wonderful world this would be! Buddha, our real-self, our enlightened self. Dhamma, the path and the practice to get there – any true, sincere, honest path. Sangha – the big tribe of all these brothers and sisters on earth that we are trying to do this thing together. That simple. That simple.

Tomorrow morning I am off to a cycling weekend with friends done for a charitable cause and I’m nothing but determined to bring my best self to the group, share the joy and the love that its our true and real state of being and remain positive no-matter what. After all, it’s the weekend, on a glorious Greek island, with lots of friends, good exercise and fresh air, who could ask for more? I’m very grateful for all! (weather prediction: wet and crappy, but who cares, we are in it for the adventure). More when I get back!

With mucho amor to all,


Tabitha

Time management basics - if only I could master them!

So, as I’ve been procrastinating a lot lately about this and that, I’ve come across some old notes of mine about time management and maybe by sharing them out in the open, I’ll be more obliged to obey some, myself. So, here they are, old notes but always timeless….


• Do first things first (in other words, EAT YOUR FROG –for those who haven’t read this little wonder, look it up)
• Work from your to do list (what, you don’t make one? To do lists are absolutely necessary to put your mind in order)
• Do it right first time
• Finish what you start
• Learn how to spend your time by auditing your time usage with a time log
• Assert your right to control your time by saying ‘no’
• Resist distractions
• Handle each piece of paper only once (if you possibly can)
• Each time you handle a piece of paper do something to move it along
• Have a place for everything and keep everything in its place
• Concentrate on one thing at a time
• Keep your desk cleared of everything except the one highest priority item
• Delegate everything you can to others
• When in doubt, throw it out
• Commit your business goals & your personal goals to paper
• Plan daily, weekly & monthly
• Set deadlines for yourself and others
• Break larger or long-term tasks into manageable sections – i.e. how to eat an elephant
• Group related activities together
• Set your own priorities, don’t let others do it for you
• Find out who is interrupting you & establish control over interruptions
• Listen actively, focusing your full attention on the speaker
• Insist that meetings begin and end on time
• Insist that meetings stick to the agenda
• Differentiate between urgent tasks & important tasks
• Don’t waste time of others. The Golden Rule applies
• KISS (Keep It Simple Stupid – no offence to my readers this refers to me, really….)
• Make definite appointments; confirm and keep them
• Be in a hurry to get things done. Don’t take longer than necessary
• Make a special effort to get what you want out of the first hour of the day
• Do your most important work during your high energy periods
• Identify and systematically eliminate time wasters
• Focus on being effective (doing the right things) rather than efficient (doing things right)
• Look for new techniques to make you more effective and efficient
• Plan realistically; almost everything takes longer than expected.
As I’m going through this list now, I’m thinking of how many things I do wrong on a daily basis, I’m scattered here and there and my time goes wasted to unimportant chores when I could have been doing the things that matter and the things that bring me joy if I had planned my day right. So, lately I’m disciplined to write my to-do-list every morning and then follow it through and I’m trying to have all items in it ticked by the evening. This small daily routine gives me a sense of satisfaction and achievement and it helps me being focused and grounded.
We all want to live a rewarding life and our daily acts define just that!

With mucho amor to all,

Tabitha