Spring is for love....

I’m happy, I’m radiant and I’m in love! Spring time is officially here since yesterday and my heart seems to bloom together with the flowers. I haven’t been writing for awhile cause I’ve been busy with work, social life, organizing fundraisers, oh and taking photography lessons! But most importantly, because my love life hadn’t been that great lately and it took most of my attention and energy till it was solved. All I wanted to say is that if you really practice love in your daily life, stay with an open heart for all instead of judging and grudging, if you practice kindness, forgiveness and compassion, you are becoming a better person every day and that’s all that should matter to us. I like to believe that’s what’s happening to me and I thought I’ll share. I live my talk and I’m proud of who I’m becoming inside, everyday a bit more. Proud not in the sense of arrogance, but in the sense of giving credit to myself for the good deeds I do. That’s all. Well I don’t do it always but it’s good to be reminded every now and then, especially those bad hair days…..

 Anyhow, during a break me and my partner had recently, I just found on my laptop that I had written the text below but didn’t post, so I’ll share now. That was about a month ago, just after Valentine’s day….

Con mucho amor  always,

Tabitha

Taking a break.... 

Its time I spill my guts out again, to my one and only reader who bothers to still check and –even read -  this blog. Lately I’m being bombarded by life’s (and God’s?) irony and so I feel irritable and frustrated, claustrophobic and saddened. The country I live at is in a major upheaval which I’m afraid will result in a revolution of some sort, cause I figure, sooner or later all this collective negative energy and frustration is going to erupt, but that’s just me talking. The problem is that the surrounding upheaval has invaded my personal life and so now I can’t find rest anywhere, I feel I don’t want to be anymore, stop existing. I’m in a dead end with no way out and though I do see the light at the end of the tunnel, it seems very far now….I m in pain, I’m in suffering, I m not eating, sleeping or concentrating and so I figure….I’m in love! And I had to discover the hard way, just a few days after we’ve decided to take a break. And yes, I’m taking about ‘wild ocean eyes’ who I’m still dating ‘nd things were going well….till last Saturday. When we decided to take a break for awhile to see how we feel cause we were both issues to reflect on. I’m confused and lost as to what exactly ‘taking a break’ means and so I googled it and here are the results:  "Taking a break means not cutting ties to each other, but postponing the relationship temporarily to see where things are at." I like this definition, other than the 'see where things are at' part, because its vague and doesn't list specifics. To me, taking a break means taking a step back from a relationship that isn't meeting one or both partner's needs, and reviewing how the relationship fits into their life picture over the long term. Its about re-evaluating without the stress of the relationship itself. But the problem is that in the first two days I knew already and now it’s been six days and the pain of loss is unbearable. The sheer agony of love! And as we didn’t exactly specify the ‘duration’ of the break, the agony is exaggerated with the hope that the break will be over soon and everything is going to be alright. I’m trying to stay positive through this though the pain in my heart is hard to ignore, and have visions of us being together again and that I’m happy, radiant and full of love.

I push my fears away and stay positive with an open heart  and love….let’s see what happens!