Wild-ocean-eyes is not going to be mentioned in this blog again. Like a summer breeze he came and gone. A long lasting breeze it was, for it lasted a year and half....a forgotten touch in freshly dyed hair, that's what it feels like now.....I m hurting alot, I feel confused and alone, I don't understand why I can't be loved and so many women around me have found a partner to share their lives with. What's wrong with me? Did I send the wrong vibes out, or simply it wasn't meant to be? Two people who came together, touched eachother's souls and parted in search for something more 'authentic', more intense, more heartfelt? And when do we know is time to stop searching and what we have is good and we can make it get even better and better? When we are so busy looking on the other side to see if the grass is greener, do we remember to water our own lawn? I mean when we are in a relationship, do we really give it our best to make it work? or is the little voice in our head condemning it from the beginning so as to keep us 'safe' and unharmed? Its not easy to let go and start trusting. Be open and take risks. Is not easy. It requires strength and character, it requires wisdom that has taught you to listen to your heart and follow your path, it requires depths to be explored and old wounds to heal, it requires inner work and more than anything, it requires practice. Practice love. Be love. And if both partners are on the path and they deepen their connection with time, that's great. But if one is trying to drug the other, then it doesn't work. You can only take the horse to the water, but can't make it drink. And that's what brought us to today, in a nutshell. How do I feel? miserable....I'm taking a trip to discover new worlds tomorrow and I'm nothing but ready. But I'm hoping that once I'm on that plane I'll forget all the sadness of this place and feel free and happy again. Let's see what's in store for me on the other side of the pond, it's exciting - which is why its scary! I feel nothing but a go-getter right now, but maybe my energy is low these days and it will pass. I have to maintain a positive attitude and remain cool.I m packing now for winter and its so strange, when its so hot here and you feel like a sizzling fajita!
As for the magic formula, that's a long story and deserves a full post....soon!
Con mucho amor always,
Tabitha
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