Contentment

This is going to be a short post just to share this: that if you stick long-enough to your beliefs and your values and don’t compromise yourself with the easier solution of the moment, then you’ll be justified sooner or later. We all know that, nothing new here. Is just because I’m experiencing it lately and it makes me very happy. I almost feel guilty being happy! But everything is going so well lately, I really count my blessings and I feel so grateful. Yesterday it was my birthday and for the first time in my 42 years of life I felt content. I was where I really wanted to be and I was – dare I say it? – happy! And now I understand why when you are in that state you can transmit that to others, the love, the open heart, the kindness are what attract people most, even unconsciously . But, back to me! Yes, well, professionally I’m finally in a job where I feel comfortable to be completely honest and I work for an employer who is kind, cares for the environment and supports many good causes both financially and physically.  I’m dating Mr. ‘wild ocean eyes’ who is starting to grow in me….the more time we spent together, the more I like him and feelings develop that I’ve never experienced before. And I’m loving it! I don’t know what’s gonna happen, for the first time, I have no expectations, no demands, I just enjoy the time we spent together and I share loving, caring moments. And that’s what feels great! There are no shadows, no skeletons, no tensions in this relationship right now, and it proves David Deida right once again, that when you have your heart open to your partner he/she will respond  equally – eventually. Which brings us back to the beginning  why sticking to your own values is so important. And it works!

This is what I enjoy most about this faze of my life, that I’m finally myself wherever I am, I am present and aware and I don’t drift to the future to avoid the here and now. I like my here and now and so I spend more time in it! Isn’t that what we all want at the end, to live a satisfying ,joyous life, now? It took me a long time to create my reality the way I wanted, and though I never knew what I was looking for, I never had a ‘big dream’ to chase or anything like that, I was a bit lost and adrift here and there but deep down I always knew that I had to follow my heart no matter the cost. And I did. And while I’m saying this now, I’ve got nothing to show for it, really. I’m a very average person with an average job and an average boyfriend, have created no wealth, no family, no fame. But, then, why do I get this feeling that I have finally ‘arrived’? It’s the first time I can honestly say that in my life, and smile. Despite my weaknesses, my smoking, my eating habits, my lack of discipline to do my daily yoga, my five extra kilos and all the wrong-doings I’ve done, I begin to like who I am, or at least, accept me. And as I know that no-one reads this blog, I can spill my guts out in my mini sessions of writing therapy, be completely honest, cause this writing is mainly for me to see where I stand in life. To stop and ponder, every now and then. I feel guilty for not being a better writer though, who will entertain you more with some humor, or at least make a better use of the English language by using idioms and even jargon every now and then, but that's not happening - obviously - and you, my only reader, are probably asleep by now, which is what I should be doing, too! 


Con mucho amor

Tabitha