Why is happiness so difficult to achieve?
Just like a butterfly, you can be chasing it all the time and the moment you think you are near, almost at grasp, it flies away again. And again. And again. But if you stay still and wait, the butterfly will come to you eventually. This is what I was told recently and now I’m contemplating the meaning of this. It’s Tuesday night, in a decaying city, I’ve just watched hundreds of people all gathered in the main squares in a silent protest against the misery that has become our norm, and then I’ve watched a movie, Miral, about another misery in another land that’s claimed by people who can’t live harmonically with eachother. In other words, what I experience inside, I see it happening outside. Oh, and today is the anniversary of my wedding. Or was. Not the anniversary. The wedding. It no longer is. It lasted about six months and then, suddenly, gone. Everything. My life as I knew it. My newly found friends. My newly found family. Gone. Just like that.
Anyway, back to happiness. According to all my spiritual books, happiness is our natural state. So, what is it that brought us to where we are today? Amidst conflict and destruction, violence and immorality, sadness and despair? I feel I’m surrounded by disappointed, disheartened people everywhere, people who don’t even know that happiness is their birthright, because this is who they are, but instead of looking for happiness, they are so used to live in confusion and dishonesty all their lives, they don’t know otherwise. Imagine if there was honesty in this world. Well, I can’t, to be honest! I don’t know what it would be like. Very awkward, like that movie with Jennifer Gardner , 'The Invention of Lying'. Imagine politicians being honest. Doctors. Even car-mechanics! But I’m getting carried away here, that’s not the point that I want to make today though it’s an interesting topic for a future post. Ofcourse, I have to mention the fact that in world politics, if the politicians had a thread of sincerity in them, we wouldn’t be in the mess we are today.
But how honest can you be? All the way? Like that movie? I guess a middle way is not considered honesty anymore, but it has troubled me lately whether keeping silent for some facts, it breaks the law of honesty or whether it is your personal right to keep some things to yourself. I’m used to be open and honest but lately I’ve been accused by my best friend that not revealing all the facts is equal to lying. And today on a beautifully set date with wild-ocean-eyed guy, I think I revealed too much and scared him off. So how much truth is enough so is bearable? Can you really measure truth? Too much can hurt, too little is a lie. And is it really the truth that we are searching for? I’m not convinced. We think we are, but bottom line is that we are after the thrill that we get when we are so close to the butterfly, almost there, arms spread, one more jump, almost catching it, and yet, it slips away again. We carry on this way thinking we know it all, we know the truth but because we are too afraid to look it in the eye, we hide away, locked in our apartments, weak, miserable and lonely, ignorant, insecure, lifeless. In my mind, the truth is that we are afraid to be happy. Because happiness is a daily practice. And practice requires work to be done with discipline, patience and an open heart to all. And not everyone is willing to do that. In fact, very few people are. A wise man from the Andes of Peru once told me ‘Who said happiness is easy’? and he couldn’t be more right. There is work to be done, depths to be explored, obstacles to be removed, shadows to face, wounds to heal, addictions to deal with, demons to fight. One must be mad, to go through all this. No wonder people are not really interested in the true pursue of happiness. They think it’ll come sky-diving, like a lottery win or a galloping white knight.
For me, the openness of our hearts is what shapes our reality and the fact that our reality is so gloomy and sad depicts the hearts of all these people in the city that I saw gathered today - a silent despair. Last year this day was the happiest of my life. This year this day, is one of the saddest. I cry over the state of this country which I love, over the state of the people, over the state of me. The silent protesters that are taking over the squares are spreading in our hearts, the silence deafening. There is a big wound in our lives right now. Inwardly and outwardly. But life often hurts, as we all know. And so does the truth, sometimes.
Just like a butterfly, you can be chasing it all the time and the moment you think you are near, almost at grasp, it flies away again. And again. And again. But if you stay still and wait, the butterfly will come to you eventually. This is what I was told recently and now I’m contemplating the meaning of this. It’s Tuesday night, in a decaying city, I’ve just watched hundreds of people all gathered in the main squares in a silent protest against the misery that has become our norm, and then I’ve watched a movie, Miral, about another misery in another land that’s claimed by people who can’t live harmonically with eachother. In other words, what I experience inside, I see it happening outside. Oh, and today is the anniversary of my wedding. Or was. Not the anniversary. The wedding. It no longer is. It lasted about six months and then, suddenly, gone. Everything. My life as I knew it. My newly found friends. My newly found family. Gone. Just like that.
Anyway, back to happiness. According to all my spiritual books, happiness is our natural state. So, what is it that brought us to where we are today? Amidst conflict and destruction, violence and immorality, sadness and despair? I feel I’m surrounded by disappointed, disheartened people everywhere, people who don’t even know that happiness is their birthright, because this is who they are, but instead of looking for happiness, they are so used to live in confusion and dishonesty all their lives, they don’t know otherwise. Imagine if there was honesty in this world. Well, I can’t, to be honest! I don’t know what it would be like. Very awkward, like that movie with Jennifer Gardner , 'The Invention of Lying'. Imagine politicians being honest. Doctors. Even car-mechanics! But I’m getting carried away here, that’s not the point that I want to make today though it’s an interesting topic for a future post. Ofcourse, I have to mention the fact that in world politics, if the politicians had a thread of sincerity in them, we wouldn’t be in the mess we are today.
But how honest can you be? All the way? Like that movie? I guess a middle way is not considered honesty anymore, but it has troubled me lately whether keeping silent for some facts, it breaks the law of honesty or whether it is your personal right to keep some things to yourself. I’m used to be open and honest but lately I’ve been accused by my best friend that not revealing all the facts is equal to lying. And today on a beautifully set date with wild-ocean-eyed guy, I think I revealed too much and scared him off. So how much truth is enough so is bearable? Can you really measure truth? Too much can hurt, too little is a lie. And is it really the truth that we are searching for? I’m not convinced. We think we are, but bottom line is that we are after the thrill that we get when we are so close to the butterfly, almost there, arms spread, one more jump, almost catching it, and yet, it slips away again. We carry on this way thinking we know it all, we know the truth but because we are too afraid to look it in the eye, we hide away, locked in our apartments, weak, miserable and lonely, ignorant, insecure, lifeless. In my mind, the truth is that we are afraid to be happy. Because happiness is a daily practice. And practice requires work to be done with discipline, patience and an open heart to all. And not everyone is willing to do that. In fact, very few people are. A wise man from the Andes of Peru once told me ‘Who said happiness is easy’? and he couldn’t be more right. There is work to be done, depths to be explored, obstacles to be removed, shadows to face, wounds to heal, addictions to deal with, demons to fight. One must be mad, to go through all this. No wonder people are not really interested in the true pursue of happiness. They think it’ll come sky-diving, like a lottery win or a galloping white knight.
For me, the openness of our hearts is what shapes our reality and the fact that our reality is so gloomy and sad depicts the hearts of all these people in the city that I saw gathered today - a silent despair. Last year this day was the happiest of my life. This year this day, is one of the saddest. I cry over the state of this country which I love, over the state of the people, over the state of me. The silent protesters that are taking over the squares are spreading in our hearts, the silence deafening. There is a big wound in our lives right now. Inwardly and outwardly. But life often hurts, as we all know. And so does the truth, sometimes.
So, have we all become truth-intolerant?
Con mucho amor,
Tabitha
No comments:
Post a Comment