We are ONE

In a world where reality is so harsh, ridiculously unjustifiable, senseless and –sometimes-unbearable, striving for happiness and love seems like a paradox and so surreal. I almost gave up recently. I blamed it on my karma, and that perhaps I’m paying for all the wrongs that I have done in the past, I’m now being punished by being deprived of the only thing I want most in the world, for me and for everyone. To love and be loved. Deeply and with an open heart. To love ourselves  more, unconditionally. To love our partners. To love eachother and everyone on this planet, all seven billion of us. I don’t follow any religion, I only  follow one undeniable truth:  to love with an open heart cause we are all different living cells of ONE existence, of ONE spirit, we are ONE. 

The speck of sand, the wind, the dolphin, the wolf, the dog, the pigeon, the Palestinian at the traffic lights, the President, the rapist, the preacher, the atheist, the swami, the celebrity, the psychopath, the beautiful, the old, we are all ONE, each one of us part of a universal existence that lives and breathes as ONE. Let’s eliminate fear, hypocrisy and lies and substitute them with compassion, understanding and kindness. Lets swop resentment with forgiveness, anger with laughter, hatred with love. Let us become eachother’s inspiration in becoming better and better everyday. Let us learn from the examples of the people around us. People with integrity, people who dare to stand out and voice our rights, people who dedicate their lives to make ours better in whichever way they can, people with good aesthetics who make our environment a joy to be in, people who entertain us, people who protect us from harm, people who break the status-quo, people who give generously, people who are daring, caring and loving…..These are our everyday heroes, our examples to follow, our proof in our  own doubts of inadequacy….

 In the meantime, and in my own reality, I’m back after an eventful summer, lots of people came and gone, some exciting moments, some loving ones, some sad ones….My life finally has taken a turn for the better, I feel I m on the right track for the first time after years and years of searching, of compromising, of hardship….It seems that all the internal work I’ve been doing, getting better and better and better, fighting my fears away, adjusting to a more grounded reality , is finally paying off. And yet….something is still missing. I’m unhappy. My life is full of fun activities, a new job, a handsome boyfriend and 444 friends on facebook but I feel lonely and – most of the times – hopeless. I feel that nothing has no meaning anymore, and that the date of the redemption has past. It’s too late to do anything to repair the broken pieces, my broken heart, this broken planet. But, even in my darkest hours – like this one – I’m reminded from my practice to move towards the light. Correct all the wrong-doings of the past by doing more and more good deeds from my heart. By helping people whatever way I can. By keeping my heart open to all, and not take things personally (yes, I do practice the four agreements – Don Miguel Ruiz).  By keeping the awareness live and by being present. By fighting my addictions and my insecurities. I’ve got to move on. I’ve got to move on, towards the light…..That’s my only mantra and when I run my life’s marathon, this is what I keep repeating to myself so I can take one more step and then one more…..

       So, as I’m off to a tropical party on the beach in a few minutes, I’ll remember to put a big smile on, be entertaining and witty, feminine and attractive, fun and untroubled as a girlfriend,  social and friendly to all. 
I really don’t see the meaning of this right now, but I’ll try….after all, that’s my life. I just have to decide whether I like the life I lead or not…..and I’m not sure.

That’s it for now, apologies for being away for so long…..

Tabitha